Why does living alone feel lonely?
The reason why people feel lonely when they live alone is because they feel lonely in the small moments of everyday life. This difference is especially noticeable when you move from a shared home or a shared house where you live with other people.
Having no one to talk to, no one to share meals with, or a quiet room when you get home - the loss of the ``presence of others'' that was once a given can make you feel increasingly lonely.
Also, seeing other people having fun on social media can deepen your own sense of isolation. While spending time alone can be free and relaxing, it can also put a strain on your mental health, as you have to deal with your emotional ups and downs on your own. Feeling lonely when living alone is a natural part of the experience.
The gap between living at home and home life
When you live with your parents, conversations, meals, and casual interactions with your family are part of your daily life. However, when you start living alone, you lose these everyday "normal" things, and many people feel a strong sense of loneliness due to this gap.
The feeling of loneliness becomes more apparent when the sense of security that comes from being in the same space as someone else and the lack of verbal exchanges such as "welcome home" and "I'm home" when returning home are lost.
Furthermore, being placed in an environment where one cannot talk about their worries on the spot often leads to many cases where they end up carrying their anxiety and stress alone. By losing the unconscious sense of security they had at home, living alone can make them more likely to feel lonely.
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The reality that there is no one to talk to
The most obvious reality of living alone is that you have no one to talk to. With no one to share your daily happenings and realizations with, opportunities to express your emotions are greatly reduced. As a result, you tend to turn your thoughts inward, making it easier for anxiety and stress to build up.
Often, simply talking to someone about the things that happened at work, whether unpleasant or pleasant, can make you feel better, but if you are unable to do so for a long time, your sense of loneliness will deepen. Even if you communicate via LINE or social media, you will not feel fulfilled without face-to-face conversation. In many cases, the lack of human relationships is the biggest cause of loneliness.
When you feel the most lonely
There are certain times when you are more likely to feel lonely when living alone.
For example, when you get home at night and there are no lights on in your room, when you finish a day off without talking to anyone, or during special events like birthdays or New Year's. When you are feeling particularly unwell or emotionally unstable, your desire for someone to be by your side increases, and your sense of loneliness reaches its peak.
Furthermore, when stress builds up at work or school, being in an environment where you can't talk to anyone can make you feel overwhelmed. This prolonged period of "silence" and "alone time" can increase the number of moments when you feel the loneliness that comes with living alone.
Loneliness caused by social media and comparing yourself to others
One of the factors that exacerbates loneliness when living alone is comparing yourself to others on social media. When you see your friends having fun on Instagram or X (formerly Twitter), you may get the illusion that you're the only one who's lonely. When you live alone and have little real-life interaction, this online information can seem bigger than reality and lower your self-esteem.
Also, because social media only shows the bright side of things, people can feel depressed, thinking, "I'm not doing anything" or "I'm spending my time alone." If you get into the habit of comparing yourself to others, you'll tend to view your life and emotions negatively, which can lead to a vicious cycle of loneliness.
Real voices and experiences of people who feel lonely
Many people who have experienced living alone say that it was lonelier than they imagined. On social media and message boards, many people, both working adults and university students, share their experiences of feeling lonely and the changes in their emotions. Spending less time with others gives people more time to reflect on their own emotions, which can be positive, but can also lead to negative feelings.
Especially when you are swamped with work or studies, you may suddenly find yourself wanting to talk to someone or have them empathize with you.
Here, we will introduce the loneliness and isolation that working adults and university students actually talk about when living alone, and how to overcome it.
The loneliness felt by working adults living alone
Living alone after joining the workforce tends to mean feeling lonely in exchange for freedom. Many people report feeling particularly lonely when they return home from work and find themselves in a quiet room with no one to talk to.
In addition, busy days can leave people stressed and without anyone to talk to, leading them to keep their worries to themselves. Going from waking up in the morning until going to bed at night without talking to anyone can lead to mental instability. Furthermore, the more unscheduled time you have, such as on holidays or long vacations, the more likely you are to feel lonely, and those who are not used to spending time alone are more likely to suffer from loneliness.
Loneliness faced by college students and young adults
For university students and young people in their 20s, loneliness when living alone is a very familiar issue. When you move out of your parents' home and start living alone for the first time, you can enjoy a lot of freedom, but you may also find yourself wanting to eat dinner with someone or talk about what happened that day. This feeling of loneliness can be especially strong after entering university, when you still have few friends, or in an environment where classes are mainly online.
Also, when people see their friends having fun on social media, they can compare themselves to them and feel isolated. Young people have less social experience, so they tend to have difficulty dealing with loneliness and anxiety and tend to keep their feelings bottled up.
What is the sense of emptiness that comes after getting used to something?
After living alone for a while, the initial sense of novelty and anxiety gradually fades, and you begin to get used to life. However, at this point, a sense of emptiness sets in. As your life becomes routine, your emotions become flat, and many people start to wonder, "Is there any meaning to this life?"
When work or school comes to a close and you have more free time, you have more time to reflect on yourself, and you may suddenly feel a sense of emptiness. As your days go by without talking to anyone or having any plans, you may feel a sense of emptiness rather than loneliness.
At this stage, it's important to not only find ways to cope with loneliness, but also to incorporate goals and excitement into your life.
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8 ways to overcome loneliness when living alone
Feeling lonely when living alone can happen to anyone, but with a little ingenuity, you can increase your sense of fulfillment. In this chapter, we will introduce eight ways to ease loneliness that are easy to incorporate into your daily life.
1. Maintain a healthy mind through regular living and eating habits
Feeling lonely can lead to a disrupted lifestyle, but to maintain a balanced mind and body, it is essential to lead a regular life. It is especially important to wake up at a set time in the morning and eat a balanced diet. Poor nutrition and sleep can exacerbate depression and anxiety.
Additionally, making cooking your own meals a habit will create a rhythm in your life and help you enjoy meals. Taking good care of yourself, even if you live alone, is the first step to reducing feelings of loneliness and maintaining a positive attitude.
2. Create a relaxing atmosphere with room interiors and scents
When you live alone, your room is your own personal space, so comfort is key to mental stability. By paying attention to the interior design and incorporating your favorite scents with an aroma diffuser, you can satisfy your five senses and expect a soothing effect.
Simply placing indirect lighting and potted plants can create a relaxing space and make you feel less lonely. By being conscious of creating a space that you like and that is unique to you, you can turn your time at home into something you look forward to.
3. Check in with friends and family regularly
To reduce feelings of loneliness when living alone, it's important to consciously maintain connections with others. Even if you don't have many opportunities to meet in person, try to keep in regular contact with friends and family via LINE or video calls. Hearing their voices and seeing their faces will give you a sense of security and help ease feelings of loneliness.
Also, knowing that you have someone to talk to is a great source of emotional support. Maintaining a conscious connection is a key to achieving mental stability.
4. Find a hobby or lesson and become passionate about it
When you feel lonely, it's effective to have something you can be passionate about. By spending time on hobbies or lessons such as reading, watching movies, cooking, sports, or learning a language, you can turn your lonely time into meaningful time.
Taking on new challenges in particular has the effect of activating the brain and fostering a sense of accomplishment and self-esteem. It's also easy to make connections with people through school or online courses, which can add variety to your single life.
5. Participate in share houses and local events
If you want to reduce the feeling of loneliness that comes with living alone, one way to do so is to reconsider your lifestyle.
For example, incorporating "systems for interacting with people" into your life, such as moving into a shared house or participating in local social events, will naturally lead to communication. Meeting people with similar hobbies and values will help you feel like you belong and will help you to be free from loneliness.
Incorporating social interaction into your life has a significant impact on your mental health.
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6. Grow plants
Just having living things in a room for someone living alone can bring warmth to the space. Growing plants, in particular, is extremely effective in stabilizing the mind. Watering them every day and enjoying their growth naturally creates a rhythm in your daily life, helping to alleviate feelings of loneliness.
It's a good idea to start with houseplants or cacti, which are easy for beginners to grow. The feeling of "caring for someone" will help fill the void of loneliness.
7. Improve your romantic life
If the cause of loneliness is a lack of connections with others, one way to fill that void is through romance. In recent years, the number of people using dating apps has increased, making it easy to enjoy meeting people.
However, rather than forcing yourself to seek out a partner, it's important to start with a light-hearted feeling, such as "I want someone to talk to" or "I want to meet new people." When love brings emotional fulfillment, it also adds excitement to your daily life.
8. Organize your emotions in a diary or blog
When you live alone, you have fewer opportunities to express your feelings, so you tend to bottle them up. At times like these, writing down your feelings in a diary or blog can help you sort out your emotions.
By writing it down, you can more easily see why you feel lonely and what you can do to make it better, allowing you to calmly face yourself. In particular, rather than using social media, we recommend a private notebook or diary where you can write freely without worrying about other people's eyes.
Bad behaviors that lead to a vicious cycle of loneliness
In an attempt to alleviate the loneliness of living alone, people may unknowingly resort to counterproductive behavior that puts a strain on their mind and body.
In this chapter, we will introduce four bad habits to avoid and explain the precautions you should take to live a healthy life.
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Excessive checking of social media
Social media is a convenient tool for connecting with others, but checking it excessively when you're feeling lonely and living alone can be counterproductive. Seeing the happy posts of friends and acquaintances can lead to comparisons with yourself, and can often make you feel like you're the only one who's lonely.
Also, coming across negative posts can make you feel depressed. Because social media only shows part of the information, it can make the viewer's imagination make the social media appear more fulfilling than it actually is. The more you try to fill the void, the more likely you are to feel even more lonely, so limiting your time on social media is an effective measure.
Binge eating and shopping addiction
Many people resort to overeating or wasteful shopping to temporarily alleviate their loneliness. When you consume too much sweets or junk food, the satisfaction is temporary, and you are hit with guilt and negative health effects later.
Similarly, repeated impulse buying to relieve stress can leave you with financial and emotional regret, trapping you in a cycle of loneliness.
The important thing is not to try to fill your emotions with material things, but to focus on essential activities that will fill your heart.
Unreasonable schedules and shallow relationships
If you try to fill the void by forcing yourself to fill your schedule or continuing to attend parties and events that you don't want to attend, you may end up accumulating fatigue and stress. If you increase superficial relationships, you may not be able to say what you really want to say, and your sense of loneliness may actually increase.
The important thing is to decide who you spend time with and how you spend time. Making plans is not bad in itself, but acting without regard for your own feelings can wear you down. It's important to value relationships where you can spend time naturally without forcing yourself.
Relying on alcohol or gambling
Alcohol and gambling may seem to help you forget loneliness and stress in the short term, but they are not a fundamental solution. Increasing your alcohol intake can disrupt your daily routine and affect your health, and gambling addiction can lead to financial troubles.
These things do not alleviate loneliness, but rather create a negative spiral that pushes you further. Rather than just a temporary solution, taking healthy and positive steps to organize your mind will lead to long-term satisfaction.
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How to live alone without feeling lonely
Although it is difficult to completely eliminate loneliness when living alone, it is possible to create an environment that makes it less likely to feel lonely. By making some small changes to the way you choose your home and neighborhood, and how you spend your days, you can stabilize your emotions and alleviate feelings of loneliness.
Here are some concrete ideas for ways to reduce loneliness.
Utilizing shared houses and room sharing
One effective way to live alone without feeling lonely is to use a shared house or room share.
The appeal of living in a shared space is that you can maintain the privacy of your own room while still being able to interact with others in shared spaces like the living room and kitchen. Just having an environment where you can talk to someone creates a sense of security and vitality in your daily life, and naturally alleviates feelings of loneliness.
In particular, for people who feel anxious about living alone or who want someone to talk to, a home that provides a place for communication can be a source of emotional support. Recently, there has been an increase in various types of share houses, such as women-only and international exchange-oriented, so you can choose an environment that suits you.
Choose a property near a station or in a lively area
When living alone, living near a station or in a busy area is also an effective way to reduce feelings of loneliness. When you go out into the city, there are many places where you can have casual conversations and feel the presence of other people, such as cafes, supermarkets, and shopping districts, which leads to a sense of mental security.
Living in a quiet residential area or an unpopular area can make you feel isolated. Choosing an environment that naturally increases your opportunities to go outside, taking into consideration safety on the streets at night and ease of going out, will help you maintain your mental health.
Living environment ideas that utilize sound and light to your advantage
When you live alone, your room is your own space, so it's important to use sound and lighting to soothe your mind. A space that's too quiet can intensify feelings of loneliness, so playing the TV, radio, or soothing music in the background can create a sense of everyday life and provide a sense of security.
Additionally, using indirect lighting and warm-colored lights will create a warmth in the space and create a calming atmosphere. It is also recommended to incorporate scented candles and aromatherapy. By creating a comfortable space that you think is good for you, it will become a place you want to return to and feel relaxed in, and you will feel less lonely.
Summary: Living alone is a chance to deal with loneliness
Loneliness is a natural emotion that many people experience when living alone. The gap between living at home or with someone else, the lack of someone to talk to, and the feeling of being alone can make you feel anxious and empty.
However, this is also a necessary and important opportunity to take time to reflect on yourself. By adjusting your daily routine, taking up hobbies, and expanding your circle of friends, you can turn loneliness into positive energy.
Additionally, by making improvements to your living environment and connections with others, you can live a life where you feel less lonely. Time alone is a chance to develop independence and enrich your life. Learn to cope with the loneliness of living alone and enjoy a life that suits you.
